we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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