I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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