just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
