can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
