Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
