at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
