why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
