I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
