Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
