i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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