my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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