Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
