I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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