I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
