that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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