so explain again why im purple
no
Nicole vs. Life
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
