dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
