I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
