...so i touched it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
