YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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