Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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