We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Houston, we have a blender
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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