I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
