I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
