Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
