I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
