You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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