He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
