We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
