I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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