Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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