Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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