I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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