dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
