But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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