Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
