I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
