Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
