i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
