My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
