i will never coherently bang her
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
