I'm lost and stupid without you.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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