lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
