A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
