the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
