You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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