in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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