using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
