I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
