they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
