Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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