JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
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