tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
