I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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