we're blogging at a bar
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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