Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I will pee on everything he values.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
