I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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