Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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