The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
