i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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