peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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