He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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