ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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